Aphasia: Loss of language, not intellect

Posted on May 22, 2014 by sheilawill

Leaving happy hour tonight with a couple of 40-somethings, I noticed a bumper sticker I had never seen before. “Aphasia: Loss of language, not intellect.” As I’m pushing 70, this appeals to me. I’ve had three brain glitches in my life, the first one in my early 20s. Gobbledygook came out of my mouth instead of real words, although I knew what I intended to say.

It’s likely to happen again, maybe with a stroke or some other type of brain failure. If so, is there some comfort in knowing that I won’t be a blob, even if no one else can understand me? Sometimes I imagine that Gabby Giffords may feel imprisoned in her own head because she has so much difficulty expressing herself. But maybe it’s not as bad as I think.

Maybe I should be thinking more about this stuff, being a baby boomer and all. The last time I had a brain glitch was at work about a year ago. My colleagues asked me to outstretch my arms, speak a complete sentence, and if I knew what I wanted to say. I could do all three.

Still, I got an MRI. My doctor reported great results. I hadn’t had a stroke, there was no plaque in my brain. I was in good shape. What a surprise!

Recently I’ve been back in touch with a woman I worked with more than 40 years ago.  We celebrated Friday afternoons eating Doritos, m&ms and chocolate bars. No worries. We were young and thin. We had plenty of estrogen and no stomachs.

I’m enjoying her 70-Something Blog. I always admired her. And she’s got it down,  aware that anything could happen to her now that she’s in her mid-70s and her husband is 80. No way will they stop traveling, having goals, engaging fully in day-to-day life.

Go Judy! Go us Baby Boomers!

 

 

Posted in Baby Boomers, Fight wimpiness | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

A woman president in my lifetime…and lilacs too

Posted on May 11, 2014 by sheilawill

It’s about time. Even if a smart, compassionate woman president won’t have any more power with an obstructionist Congress than a smart, compassionate male president, we need a woman president. And I want to see one in my lifetime. I would happily vote for Hillary Clinton. So she’s an opportunistic politician. She’s always spoken up for education and human rights for girls and women. How many old white guys have done that?

Nicholas Kristof has stood up for girls and women around the world in his New York Times columns and his book “Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide,” which he co-wrote with his wife, Sheryl WuDunn. What’s so scary about smart girls? he asks in his latest column.

Reading women/thinking women don’t want the status quo for their children. They want opportunities for a better life.  If more women held power in the United States, we would be less likely to go to war and more likely to fund quality public education for all. We would do far more good around the world by promoting educational exchange programs, instead of sending tanks.

Hillary Clinton always spoke about human rights and education for women in countries she visited as secretary of state. But I would prefer Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) as our next president. She speaks more forcefully about the ever-increasing economic inequality in America, perhaps the greatest danger to our dwindling democracy.

When I get myself all riled up about politics I need flowers. Today I treated myself to lilacs. As I get older I’ve learned about balancing my anxiety about the political situation with my own needs. Anxiety does nobody any good. Speaking out and remembering all the goodness in the world helps.

photo-188

So. For my daughter, for my daughter-in-law, for my nieces and great nieces, for all the smart, caring, magnificent young women everywhere, for little Mira — who will be 1 tomorrow — for all people, for all mothers, let’s speak up for more power to women!

 

 

 

 

Posted in Fight wimpiness, politics | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

I wanted to be a “mensch” (good person)…

Posted on April 7, 2014 by sheilawill

When I turned 50 — a long time ago — I started thinking about how to make the most of my remaining years. The best I could do, I decided back then, was be a mensch. I haven’t always been kind. I’ve been sarcastic and probably even mean at times.

You never know how much time you have left on this gorgeous planet. And at 50, all bets are off. You re-evaluate, or at least I did.

Looking back, I told myself, “I did good.” I’ve been the best mother I could be. I encouraged reading in many families on Mt. Desert Island. I’m a loyal friend. I have students who remember me.

And I have students I will never forget. On my mind this weekend are two of those students, both around age 30. One spunky, bright, beautiful young woman fell from a building in Brooklyn a few days ago. She died, leaving her mother, father, sister, and family of friends to grieve.

Another dear student wonders how to give the greatest meaning to her life. I told her I’m sure her life has meaning. Why? She’s one of the kindest people I know, and  she wants to do good. She has a strong sense of social justice.

I also heard from my college boyfriend this weekend — for the first time in more than 40 years. He emailed about an old friend who was dying. Not any old friend, but someone who had fallen into a serious depression later in life, who had gone through lots of electro-shock therapy and taken lots of medications. The old boyfriend had remained friends with this man through all of his trauma. That’s kindness.

As Kurt Vonnegut said, “There’s only one rule I know of babies. God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.” There’s a poster of Vonnegut saying these words that hangs in our bedroom. I think more and more about his rule as I grow older.

I like the Jewish view of the afterlife, which I learned on the top of Masada when I was almost 50. “The afterlife is being remembered in your community, in the hearts and minds of the people who knew you,” our guide Chayim told us.

The young woman from Southwest Harbor who died in Brooklyn has so many loving friends. They will never forget her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Baby Boomers, Mental illness, Mount Desert Island/Maine | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Lupines, please wait for me!

Posted on March 23, 2014 by sheilawill
Lupines a.k.a. Texas bluebonnets

Lupines a.k.a. Texas bluebonnets

In Arizona they’re called Texas bluebonnets. To me they’re lupines. They grow in the Tucson mountains, much smaller than in Maine. Yup, was I surprised yesterday when I came across Maine-sized purple blossoms at the Desert Botanical Garden in Phoenix.

We were there to see the strange and beautiful mix of Dale Chihuly’s glass installations set among the Saguaro, octopus, hedgehog and cholla cacti.

Lovely, ghostlike baby belugas that look like quail

Lovely, ghostlike “baby belugas” that look like quail

An explosion of orange!

An explosion of orange!

As much as I loved Chihuly’s eye-popping creations, plunked in the middle of the desert, the real flowers evoked more nature-girl joy. Intense pink and orange cacti blossoms amaze me every spring — even after living in Tucson for 11 years.

Hedgehop cacti flowers!

Hedgehog cacti flowers!

March and April are heavenly here. Perfect weather. Cloudless blue sky. Flowers everywhere. Brunch on the Hotel Congress patio. Daily sunshine that I never find boring.

Yet I’m reminded of lupine fields all over Mt. Desert Island in June. “Miss Rumphius,” story and pictures by my friend and role model, the late Barbara Cooney, tells the story of coastal Maine’s romance with lupines.

I know what a rough winter it’s been for my Maine friends. Just a few more months till fields of peppery-smelling stalks of purple flowers will be swaying in the ocean breeze. Glorious lupines, I’ll be there on June 30. Please wait for me!

Posted in Bopping Around Tucson, Mount Desert Island/Maine, Nature Girl | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

She remembered me. I commended her.

Posted on March 7, 2014 by sheilawill

I never voted for her, but former U.S. Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-ME) is a sensible Mainer.  It’s appalling how far from sensible Congress is these days. In 2012, Snowe announced she wouldn’t run for a fourth term, refusing to subject herself to ongoing political polarization. Who can blame her?

The legislative “process has been perverted,” she said in her lecture at the University of Arizona James E. Rogers College of Law tonight. Both major parties are “playing a game of political chicken,” playing to their base to raise more money  for future primaries and elections. It’s disgusting. Obscene.

I’m reminded of the time when she used that word 15 years ago. We were both at a small cocktail party in Northeast Harbor, Maine, that had something to do with the College of the Atlantic. We were chatting. A young woman kept coming around with white wine.

President Bill Clinton had just been impeached and acquitted at his trial in the Senate. Sen. Snowe repeatedly voiced her opposition to kicking him out of office.

“I want to commend you for being so civil about the Clinton impeachment,” I said.

“The public has no idea what the right-wing fanatics wanted to do to him. It was obscene,” she replied.

Around 20 years ago, I  walked down the hall with Olympia after she spoke to my students at Mt. Desert Island High School.  She supported Ronald Reagan’s Star Wars Missile Defense System. I didn’t.

“You’re so good on women’s issues, social justice, all that important stuff,” I told her. “But I can’t vote for you.” She smiled.

Now she’s working hard to bring back bipartisanship in Washington. It may not not be possible but she’s trying her damnedest.

I spoke to her tonight. At first I didn’t think she remembered me.  But she did. Again, I just wanted to thank her.

Posted in Mount Desert Island/Maine, politics | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Tucson hipsters on a rainy day

Posted on March 1, 2014 by sheilawill

Not us, that’s for sure. I’m a former pseudo-hippy, which is different from a hipster. I’ve wanted to try Five Points Market for breakfast. So we went there. Maybe a rainy day — so unusual in Tucson — invites trying something new.

Five Points Market is definitely for hipsters. And so they came. Better yet, it’s in a part of town that needed a gathering place. Young hipsters in tiny shorts and boots, beautiful couples with matching babies and toddlers, a group of lesbians or just girls with many tattoos, bicyclists, a few older folks like us.

The new Five Points Market

The new Five Points Market

 

photo-179

Our food was yummy. I had breakfast salad: roasted winter squash with slivers of chili peppers, covered with super-fresh eggs, a side of winter squash puree to smush over it all. Got it? Accompanied by arugula salad. Dan had breakfast toast: a half-piece of multigrain toast topped by a lovely pink chili chutney and a layer of  fried eggs.

I thought the place was expensive but worth trying. Coffee was $3 with only one refill!  Still, we had an interesting conversation about race as a social construct, the rise and (I think) fall of anti-Semitism and who crossed the Bering Strait.

Unfortunately, I had to kill a bothersome fly. Ick. Nothing is perfect.

Tucson’s weather usually is perfect at this time of year. All those sunny days without the extreme heat. But this rainy day was a good time to drive through areas of Tucson I haven’t often seen. My man accommodated me. We zig-zagged through the old barrio, Armory Park and Miles neighborhoods.

one of the colorful redone adobe buildings in Armory Park

one of the colorful redone adobe buildings in Armory Park

Yup, a lovely time was had by all.

 

Posted in Bopping Around Tucson, Food/happy hours | 7 Comments

Girl on a fast bike…

Posted on February 23, 2014 by sheilawill

That’s not me. I can walk fast. I still have a small waist. I dream about being in good shape for another 20 years, traveling, keeping up with my daughter walking fast across Manhattan, hiking in the desert.

photo 1

Recently, I read about a study in which men said women are old at 68 (this June for me). Women called men old at 75. That’s a bullshit study. Who did they ask, people over 65? AARP starts hawking people the moment they turn 50.

I still don’t feel old. (I recall a colleague who I worked with in my 20s telling me that women over 60 are invisible.)

I’ve had to adjust my outlook on retirement. The only way I’ll be able to travel is if I keep working. I like my job. I get to hone my writing skills and talk with interesting people. I eat lunch outdoors, looking at bougainvillea and the Catalina Mountains.

Retirement is not a kind word for many baby boomers. We can’t afford to stop working, which requires a change in mindset, at least for me. But when I moved to Tucson 11 years ago at age 56, I felt semi-retired. Constant sunshine. Swimming in the pool in March. No grading papers all evening. Ahhhhh…not too shabby.

Anyway, what would I do all day if I retired? I’m not a stay-at-home type. I would read a lot of books. Maybe. I would work on my own writing. Maybe. I would hike all the time. Maybe.

Visiting with my accountant the other day helped me see reality.

This morning we had a delicious breakfast at the B-Line. We hiked in the Tucson Mountains where the sunny yellow brittlebush will soon cover the desert.

Although I won’t be “retiring” anytime soon, I’m on the right path.

photo 2

Posted in Baby Boomers, Bopping Around Tucson, Nature Girl | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

Book People

Posted on February 15, 2014 by sheilawill

I’ll admit it. I wish I knew a way to get our book available on Kindle or Nook or whatever all those devices are called.  But we won’t go so far as selling “A Certain Slant of Light. Emerging from the Shadows of Mental Illness” on amazon.com. They’re “predators.” Maybe even more important to me — they’re not book people.

I’ve been there, having owned Oz Books for 15 years in Southwest Harbor, Maine. Book people can be more helpful than therapists by suggesting reading that may take you out of yourself. Voila! Problems solve themselves through story, escape or  empathy with someone else’s realization.

Book people can become good friends. When they recommend a book you love,  you want to hang out with them. Plus, they take the time to listen.

I always appreciated a customer thanking me for a book suggestion. It was a kick when someone would return to OZ, telling me I was “the source of all knowledge.”

“A Certain Slant of Light…” has a lot to offer to so many people who have limited understanding of mental illness. If anyone knows how to turn our important little book into an ebook, short of getting a commercial publisher, please let me know. Also looking for that one Oprah-like acknowledgement to get our book national publicity. All ideas welcome!

Meanwhile, although I don’t usually care for Broadway in Tucson productions, the “Wizard of Oz” is opening next week. I’ll be there. And there’s the Tucson Festival of Books, March 15-16.

Once a book person, always a book person.

Posted in Mental illness, Tucson Festival of Books/good books | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cabin fever in Tucson

Posted on February 6, 2014 by sheilawill

Yeah, poor me. I’ve escaped from Downeast Maine ice storms, snow piled so high I couldn’t open my garage door. Thirty years ago I was a commercial for Mt. Desert Island — expounding on its beauty to anyone who would listen.

But here I am in sunny Tucson, although it’s been pretty cloudy this past week. Maybe that’s why I feel that February restlessness, cabin fever as we New Englanders call it. Maybe it’s because yesterday was a year that I returned from Istanbul, the first time in my long life I ever traveled to another country alone. Adventure, intrigue, money well spent!

Maybe I’m restless because my writing group’s important, very satisfying project is complete. “A Certain Slant of Light. Emerging from the Shadows of Mental Illness” was published by Our Place Clubhouse on Jan. 17 (order at ourplaceclubhouse.org). Our book launch that night was spectacular. More than 200 people showed up. Ethan was there too!

Dan, Erica,Julie, Ethan, Me, Gabe

Dan, Erica,Julie, Ethan, Me, Gabe

This morning I went to Antigone Books and persuaded them to place copies of our book on their recommended table at the front of the store. That felt good.

I went to Zumba this morning. In the locker room two women were talking about “the last time I was in Bangkok” and “did you go to the Phnom Penh museum?” One admitted she had to return two years later to see the golden Buddha.

Island-hopping in Greece has been on my mind, to the point of considering a trip with three Tucson women friends. Missed that opportunity, not that I can afford it. No big travel plans ahead.

I was so looking forward to the recently engaged Ethan and Steph’s visit last month. We hiked. We talked. We ate. We drank. Then they were gone and I was sad. We’ll be going to Minneapolis in late August for their engagement party.

Steph and Ethan at the Stone House on the David Yetman trail

Steph and Ethan at the Stone House on the David Yetman trail

So I made the plane reservations for my annual trip to Southwest Harbor. I’ll be stopping in Austin on my way to see Ethan and Steph. Never been there before. How lucky I am. Vacation, life by the sea, family and old friends!

Southeast Asia isn’t high on my list of places to go but I’ve been enjoying following the itinerary of my old friend/colleague Susan and her husband, Hector. Clearly they’re on the 2 1/2 month trip of a lifetime, but they’re adventurous enough to go for another. Isn’t this amazing?

SUSAN & HECTOR’S TRIP ITINERARY:

  • 1/6 – Concord Trailways bus to Boston; overnight in Boston
    1/7– British Air flight from Logan to London Heathrow
    1/8- arrive London 5:55 AM; overnight in London
    1/9– mid-morning transfer from London to Southampton; 6 PM sailing on MS Rotterdam
    1-10 & 1/11 – at sea
    1/12 – Lisbon, Portugal
    1/13 – Gibraltar
    1/14 – Malaga, Spain (Malaga to Granada for full-day tour of Alhambra)
    1/15 & 1/16 – at sea
    1/17 – Valletta, Malta
    1/18 – at sea
    1/19 – Kusadasi, Turkey (full-day tour of Ephesus ruins with lunch in mountain town)
    1/20 – Piraeus (Athens), Greece; disembark ship; fly to Heraklion, Crete to meet Lina & her family; overnight in Heraklion hotel
    1/21 – tour Crete with Lina; reboard ship at 5 PM
    1/22 – at sea
    1/23 – Suez Canal transit
    1/24 – 1/27 – at sea
    1/28 – Salalah, Oman (full-day tour)
    1/29 – at sea
    1/30 & 1/31 – Muscat, Oman
    2/1 & 2/2 – at sea
    2/3 & 2/4 – Mumbai, India 2/5 – Mormugao (Goa), India 2/6 – at sea 2/7 – Colombo, Sri Lanka 2/8, 2/9 & 2/10 – at sea 2/11 – Phuket, Thailand 2/12 – Penang (Pulau Pinang), Malaysia 2/13 – Port Klang (Kuala Lumpur), Malaysia 2/14 – Singapore (disembark ship; end of 37-day cruise) 2/14 – 2/16 – Singapore hotel 2/16 – fly to Bangkok, 5:25 PM 2/16 – 2/18 – Bangkok
    2/18 – fly to Hanoi, 2:45 PM
    2/18 – 2/19 – Hanoi, Vietnam
    2/20 – Ha Long Bay, Vietnam
    2/21 – 2/24 – Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam 2/24 – 3/3 – Mekong River cruise on 24-passenger ship (sleep on ship with shore tours during day)
    Feb. 25: Cai Be–Sa DecFeb. 26: Chau Doc–Cambodian Border CrossingFeb. 27: Phnom PenhFeb. 28: Phnom Penh–Prek Bang Kong, CambodiaMarch 1: Wat Hanchey–Angkor BanMarch 2: Prek Dam–Konpong Louang–Kampong TralachMarch 3: Siem Reap (Disembarkation)
    3/3-3/5 – Siem Reap hotel
    3/5 – 3/8 – fly to Laos; spend 3 days in Luang Prabang, Laos
    3/8 – fly to Bangkok
    3/8 – 3/11 – Bangkok
    3/11 – 3/14 – open days in Thailand (no plans yet)
    3/14 – fly from Bangkok to Tokyo
    3/14 – 3/15 – Tokyo
    3/16 – fly to Boston
    3/17 – return to Southwest Harbor
    Oh Susan, please have a slide show this summer!
    Meanwhile, I dream of bicycling around the lavender fields of Provence in June 2015. But I can’t wait that long.
Posted in Bopping Around Tucson, Mental illness/civil rights, Mount Desert Island/Maine, The Rest of the World | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Musing on the new year: How green is my desert!

Posted on January 2, 2014 by sheilawill

Photos don’t do the Sonoran desert justice, especially on a lovely 70-degree blue-sky day like today, the first of the new year. While hiking in Saguaro National Park West I tried to capture images of the  grass surrounding the Saguaros (with all their fun personalities). Parts of the desert inclines looked like rock gardens laced with lush color. In some places it looked as green as the Emerald City of Oz, which was sorta confusing here in Tucson. Although it had rained some in recent months.

Ocotillos leafing out...

Ocotillos leafing out…

I needed a day off from working. We started with breakfast at Mother Hubbard’s. All dishes were accompanied by free sides of collard greens and black-eyed peas to celebrate the new year. Yum.

Then we drove to the Tucson Mountains in Saguaro National Park West for a hike. I haven’t been out there much; our three-mile hike was perfect. As I was thinking of Woody Guthrie’s 33  “rulins” for the new year that Brook posted yesterday, we came upon # 26: Dance Better.

Shake it up baby...twist and shout.

Shake it up baby…twist and shout.

Maybe I’ll take up tap dancing again? Met someone at a party last night who said Gene Kelly’s niece, or granddaughter, lives in Tucson and teaches tap!

I don’t have any set resolutions. More hiking. Most important is Kurt Vonnegut’s one rule, “God Damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

I live with a kind man. He’s from the Midwest. Maybe I was thinking of us when we came across these cozy Saguaros.

Saguaro couple

Saguaro couple

After our hike I had a craving for a beer and wings, which doesn’t happen very often. We went to the Red Garter. I feel lucky on this first day of the new year. My kids are doing well. There’s love in our family.

Sitting at the bar scarfing down saucy wings, sipping on cold beers was relaxing. The Rose Bowl football game was on TV. I wasn’t paying much attention. I was thinking about stopping to smell the roses more this year. Our bill said “bar couple” at the top. We chuckled.

Happy New Year to all! May your desert and/or your garden grow well!

Posted in Bopping Around Tucson, Nature Girl | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments