Poets & Writers magazine supports Our Place Clubhouse!

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Thursday Writing Group at Our Place Clubhouse returns! We’ll be starting up again in October.

As facilitator of the 2012-13 Thursday Writing Group, I’ve never worked with a kinder group of people than the dozen writers who live with serious mental illness, and who strive for recovery every day.

Together we co-wrote “A Certain Slant of Light. Emerging from the Shadows of Mental Illness,” which we launched at the clubhouse on Jan. 17, 2014. More than 200 people celebrated with us!

Guests who joined me at the book launch on Jan. 17, 2014.

Guests who joined me at the January 2014 book launch

To find out more, check this out:

http://www.pw.org/content/shining_a_light_on_mental_illness_sheila_wilenskys_thursday_writing_group

If you’re a therapist, guidance counselor, middle-grade, high-school or college teacher, who would like free copies of “A Certain Slant of Light…” to share with clients or students, please let me know.

Let’s reduce the stigma of mental illness and support brain health in Tucson!

Shake it up baby...twist and shout.

Here’s to the growth and happiness of  each of our unique selves!

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From my desk to my ocean: taking time to smell the roses

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See the tiny handcrafted bowl of dried roses? My dear friend Olivia made it. She lives in Berkeley.

See the photo of Brook, about to turn 5, ready for her first day of kindergarten in Bass Harbor, Maine? She will turn 38 during this Libra birthday month.

See the Schrager family photo? That’s me in the first row with my eyes closed, second from the left. My brother, Joel, is seated to my left, and cousin Linda, who’s now Sita, to his left. We have no idea who the kid is to her left. Cousin Gloria, now Nikki, is kneeling on the far left, in the second row.

Ethan formed that ceramic head topped by what looks like a black beret. He was probably in my friend Carol Shutt’s pottery class, maybe in third grade. To the left of the little guy is a tiny book on friendship with a tiny purple ice cream cone on the cover, given to me by Penelope, my first friend in Tucson.

Inside that tiny book is one of my favorite quotes, “Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.” — Henry David Thoreau

In front of the Newseum mug, which Brook and Gian gave to me, is an oblong silver bookmark. I don’t remember who gave that to me, or why, but I try to follow its quote:

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams,” — also by Henry David Thoreau.

Today, Olivia and her husband are visiting Mount Desert Island, following a week on Great Cranberry Island, across the Western Way. She sent this fabulous photo of one of my favorite places in Southwest Harbor (maybe on the planet?), the Claremont lawn (looks down to the boat house, where we go for cocktails in the summer. The Claremont Inn isn’t in the photo, only its shadow).

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Olivia and I roomed together at the Claremont many Septembers ago. We both served on the board of the American Association of Children’s Booksellers. I suggested the Claremont for our annual three-day retreat. Ten board members arrived from around the country, adding immeasurably to fall commerce in Southwest Harbor. I still lived there. I had to go home to get more blankets. A late September chill was in the air.

Both Olivia and I left the book business in 1997, and received the “Spirit of ABC” awards at at that year’s American Booksellers convention (now Book Expo America, I think that’s what it’s called). We’ve been friends for more than 20 years.

I’m glad she stopped to smell the roses this past week.

Brook’s birthday at the end of this month marks 13 years I’ve lived in Tucson. Welcome to September, one of my favorite months. Welcome to my desk, where I write to remember my dreams.

Posted in Bopping Around Tucson, Family Matters, Mount Desert Island/Maine | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Being in charge of myself…the way life should be!

welcome-to-maine-the-way-life-should-be2It’s been almost a month since I plunged back into an independent work life.

Quitting my job after 10 years has been a relief — both emotionally and politically. For those of you who have sent kind words about missing me, hoping this is a positive change, here goes!

First comes an early morning walk, which usually includes a social hour at Starbucks. We find out unreported Tucson news or get recommendations for  new movies.

On these hot, hot walking days with Julie and Mira, we return from our walks to swim in our pool. Cutie Mira, who’s 2- 1/2, likes to stand poolside practicing her counting.

“One, two, three, eight, nine,” she shouts, then happily jumps back into the pool, into her mother’s arms.

Sheila's SPA! Our townhouse is behind the wall.

Sheila’s SPA! Our townhouse is behind the wall.

Either before walking, or  afterward while I’m having a yummy eggie and veggie breakfast, I write my own stuff.

Okay, first I check my emails.

Pitching interesting stories to both local and national publications is a kick. Here are the first two in print/online so far:

http://www.tucsonweekly.com/tucson/the-science-of-violence-and-compassion/Content?oid=5893148

Wilko Wine Bar + Eatery: Fresh Menu & Local Ingredients Balance Top Notch Bar Program

I don’t know which queries will be answered, who may think my idea is “fascinating” (one so far), and who can’t be bothered writing back to me.

I’ve been in the writing/publishing/journalism world long enough (more than 35 years) to know this is part of the process.

Late mornings and afternoons are for working on freelance stories.

During our idyllic two months in Maine this summer I discovered that my best working hours are from 9 a.m. to 2 or 3 p.m.

And it was in Maine where my happy new life began. I realized what was most essential, besides gazing at my children’s faces, during the next stage of my life.

Still, I was ready to return to my job on July 27. However, after around two hours, it became increasingly clear that I couldn’t stay.

Too bad the thought of spending winters in our Southwest Harbor home also won’t work for me. But I’m lucky. I have the best of both worlds.

Maine will always be my heart’s home. It must be Brook’s and Ethan’s, too. Together with their magnificent mates, they chose to return to Mt. Desert Island for their weddings.

For those of you who’ve asked to see more photos of Ethan and Steph’s May 30th wedding, here’s one of the happiest gazes ever!

Rockin' out with the groom...

Rockin’ out with the groom…”Loves me like the Rock of Ages. My mama loves me, she loves me…” by Paul Simon.

P.S. I’ve been sleeping better, too!

Posted in Family Matters, Fight wimpiness, Journalism/Writing, Mount Desert Island/Maine | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Sleeping…or not?

Granted, I’m a bit nervous abut my finances since happily quitting my job a few weeks ago.

Is this the cause of sleeping poorly, waking at 2 a.m. and again before the sun comes up?

I used to sleep like a rock. During our two months in Southwest Harbor, from late May to late July, it was too gorgeous to sleep. Lilac-strewn curtains started dancing to the breeze at sunrise. Lobster boats putt-putted by. Birds chirped in the field behind my house by the sea.

I cheated. These lobster boats are at the Ilesford Co-op, not behind my house. But they look the same.

I cheated. These lobster boats are at the Ilesford Co-op, not behind my house. But they look the same.

When I returned to Tucson three weeks ago I figured that waking up in the middle of the night was due to the time change. I was still on East Coast time.

But after three weeks, what’s going on?

My dear friend Phyl, who retired from teaching at the University of Maine two years ago, tells me I’m going through a tremendous life transition. I suppose that’s true.

Life transition: I'm sailing into the sunset but hoping for many more.

Life transition: I’m sailing into the sunset but hoping for many more.

I think that excitement and anxiety are flip sides of the same coin. So here’s the question: When I wake up in the middle of the night, am I excited or anxious, or both? I feel excited about new possibilities.

Querying stories about subjects that I choose as a freelance writer — to publications near and far — is such fun.

Still, I imagine anxiety lurking.

But dang, I feel so happy. It’s a good thing I stopped having to go to work. I now have time for naps.

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Blueberries galore, views astounding…summer epiphanies

Pemetic mountain south ridge ascent. Best hike ever. Scrambling over pink granite. That’s Dan up there…I’m too busy picking blueberries. Sweet, perfectly plumped up in patches welcoming sunshine.

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Wish I knew some geology. Rocks unite but are different. I like that.

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A stellar summer for climbing Acadia’s peaks: Beech, Flying, Acadia, Champlain, Eliot and now Pemetic mountains. North and South Bubbles. Biking to Wonderland and Ship Harbor almost every day. Leaning my bike into the bushes and walking the 1.3 miles over roots and rocks.

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So many islands in the distance. First summer I remember not being on the water. The Atlantic seems so friendly to me — all those safe harbors. I’ve also seen its wrath. Not today. It’s as smooth as ice.

IMG_1740We made it to the top. I had been worried about Pemetic being too hard for me to climb. Epiphany — don’t predetermine the outcome.

Next week I’ll be in Chapel Hill, N.C. Dan will be on his way home to Tucson. He’s taking three weeks to get back. I’m taking two days to be with my two kids and their lovies. One with a new home in academia; the other about to take off for the other side of the world.

Everything changes. Thanks to Mount Desert Island for its majestic beauty, for encouraging me to be nature girl again. Thanks to 165 Seawall Road for harboring my epiphanies.

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Relaxing vacation or OPS (old people shit)?

The newlyweds are honeymooning on the island of Corsica. The big sister and her husband are packing up to move south.

One of us old folks has aches and pains. We’re both getting a lot of sleep, hanging out, reading.

We pretend to be locals, trying to speak with a downeast accent and driving around to see what’s new. Have they finished paving Main Street in Southwest Harbor? How low is the tide at Seawall? What new restaurants are in Bar Harbor this year?

Oh, it’s all so relaxing. But shouldn’t I be climbing mountains? Or is walking Wonderland or Ship Harbor — two of my favorite places — enough (for what)?

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Sometimes I wonder: Do I have have less energy because I’m old? Is too much relaxation boring, or is it good for me? Am I undisciplined?

On Friday a dear friend told me a Buddhist teacher’s observation that we humans spend so much time “dragging around our thoughts.” One benefit of being older is that I’m not as anxious as I used to be.

I’ve only climbed Flying Mountain so far.

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Still, it feels like vacation. Waking up every morning to sunrise, I sit up in bed and pull my lilac-covered quilt up (it’s been chilly, in the low to mid-40s by early morning). Looking out my bedroom window, I see the harbor, hear lobster boats chugging by. I see Greening Island in the distance, the old white cape that’s been there forever. The shape of the mountains against the sky, risen from the ocean, is always a different painting.

I look. Then, happily, I fall back to sleep.

We’ve been here two weeks. First, lilacs bloomed all over the island in time to wish the newlyweds bon voyage after their amazing wedding week. For this — my birthday week–  fields of lupines are everywhere. Later this month wild roses will be ubiquitous.

For every season… IMG_1504IMG_1499IMG_1533-1

Posted in Baby Boomers, Mount Desert Island/Maine, Nature Girl, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ranch sisters

The big house with its peaceful veranda

The big house with its peaceful veranda

Whether we’re from Kansas City, Boston, San Antonio, Chicago or Southwest Harbor, Maine, when five women get together we’re sisters. So it was at The Big House for less than 24 hours — long enough to establish a new and lasting bond among half of our women’s book group members.

Chicago, Kansas City and Boston

Chicago, Kansas City and Boston

Kansas City lives with her husband in The Big House, the heart of an Arizona ranch within spitting distance from the source of the Santa Cruz River. The mountains of Mexico are on the other side.

Miles and miles of washboard dirt roads confirm that this ranch hasn’t changed much since it was built in 1900.

 

But we five changed in those 24 hours. What did Southwest Harbor learn?

— When we’re in our 60s it’s time to have adventures and more fun. Let go of apologies, guilt and fear.

Your reporter on the ranch

Your reporter on the ranch

— There are ways to manage our demons, which we all have.

— Border patrol agents can be very nice, and good looking too.

— Rough, rutted dirt roads still seem familiar to me.

— Bullies must never ever be enabled. Expect support from your husband or partner. It’s a must.

— Kansas City is a gracious hostess. She makes the best wild mushroom soup, granola and  the most beautiful salad with micro-greens (I finally found out what they are). She’s a consummate artist.

— Being nature girl still suits me. Beautiful places revive me.

 

The Big House with its peaceful veranda

Earth and sky meet at sunset

— Sitting on a spacious veranda drinking wine and munching popcorn, gazing at the grassland, mountains all around, an old barn, touches me more than watching a movie.

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—  Seeing the only car’s headlights to come along in two hours can be downright exciting.

— It’s a kick when cattle wait on the side of the road for you to go by. It’s also fun to share a wild place with wild turkeys, a donkey, a raven, horses and coyotes howling in the distance.

— I want more sisterly retreats with Kansas City, Chicago, San Antonio, Boston, and our other book group women. What a time we had…

Where do we go next?

Where do we go next?

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Baby Boomers, Fight wimpiness, kinky eardrums, Nature Girl | Tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Saga of a Reluctant Landlord

Twelve years ago, I packed my bags and headed west from Southwest Harbor, Maine, to Tucson, Arizona. I’d rent my beloved house during the winter so I could keep it for my kids, prospective grandkids to enjoy every summer, when I’d return for as long as I could  to live by the sea, like “Miss Rumphius.”

my favorite book

my favorite book

Some of my renters were trustworthy human beings. Others were not.

The worst renters were the yoga teacher, her husband, kids and one dog — actually two, who liked to dig holes. I’ve heard island friends talk about her serenity. I guess her kids didn’t carve their names in students’ dining room tables, draw all over the walls or pilfer a juicer, which was a present from Ethan.

Bad karma? I didn’t get her, and still don’t — how was it ok to let your kids desecrate someone else’s belongings? And why didn’t the rental agent (whose last name starts with D) ever check on them, as they were supposed to?

Then there’s the mystery of the wayward renter: Two summers ago a supposed Yale neuroscientist drove up to Southwest Harbor for a day to see my house. He loved it and wanted a multiple-year lease. We walked down to the dock and talked neuroscience. He handed over a security deposit and left.  Sept. 1 came and went. I never heard from him again. My house remained empty. The pipes froze that winter.

 

My house is a very, very fine house.

My house is a very, very fine house.

 

Hanging out on the sun porch with no sun in sight

Hanging out on the sun porch with no sun in sight

Luckily, I have the best next-door neighbors in the world so my house is still standing. I also have a genius contractor/friend with a superb intellectual carpentry crew.

A few weeks ago, my neighbors witnessed college students emptying boxes from their cars — about to sublet my house — although my passive-aggressive, nasty renter knew our lease didn’t allow such shenanigans.

Can you take more? More important, can I?

But see the serenity of my sunporch?

One year a woman didn’t pay her rent and my super-duper lawyer had her evicted. One winter the renters mostly stayed indoors with the drapes closed and drank. Can’t say that I blame them.

Another couple stayed for two winters — they were filmmakers and went to Egypt or someplace in the summer. I liked them a lot, until they moved out and all my cookbooks disappeared.

I try to focus on the wonderful renters: the lovely couple who stayed for two years and left the house cleaner than they found it; another lovely couple who retired to Southwest Harbor to build their dream home. “Your house feels like a hug,” they told me.

A few years ago, a young scientist from San Diego rented my house. He couldn’t take it for more than one winter of ice and snow, which I can appreciate.

But those glorious summers… I’m starting to feel the cool breezes, hear the waves slapping against the rocks at Ship Harbor. I’m excited about seeing my old friends and celebrating a huge family event.

View from the dock behind my house -- in the summer.

View from the dock behind my house — in the summer

Still, I wonder, have I come to the end the landlord road? Ask me again in a few months.

Posted in Family Matters, Mount Desert Island/Maine, Neuroscience needs me | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

My next bumper sticker?

My boring 1999 beige Toyota Corolla needed a bumper sticker to help me find it. I saw my car everywhere in Tucson. When I bought it 10 years ago, I was already old enough to have trouble remembering where I parked it.

“Well-behaved women seldom make history” was the first. It wasn’t enough. I’m not sure which bumper sticker came next, maybe those extolling our prez — We love you Barack, I heart Obamacare. Ot it may have been “Stop listening to Fox News.”

See what I mean.

See what I mean.

Here’s the question: Will I get a Hillary for President bumper sticker?

“I don’t care if she deleted every email she ever wrote,” I said last night when we were out with friends. “I want to see a [Democratic] woman president in my lifetime.”

M and R agreed that Hillary will be nominated and will have a good chance of winning. D thought too many people already hate her.

Maybe they just hate the idea of a woman president, like the right-wingnuts who hate Obama because he’s black.

I agree with M, who pointed out that we have a low voter turnout, especially in mid-term elections.

Common-sense, decent, quiet people will vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton in 2016. She’s smart, she’s tough and she cares about the plight of girls and women. What other politician running for president does?

Not the right-wingnuts. We have our fair share in Arizona. Gov. Doug Ducey, who was elected in the last mid-term election, just signed a bill stating that abortion could be reversed. Whaaaaa?

Beauty is required to cheer me up after thinking about this outrageous stupidity -- and condescension toward women.

Beauty is required to cheer me up after thinking about this outrageous stupidity — and condescension toward women.

I’ll vote for Hillary. Will I trust her? Not completely. But consider the alternative.

Do I have enough room for another bumper sticker? I’m not sure.

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Racism where the sidewalk ends

Life in sunny Tucson is good. I’m sunny most of the time but shit happens that’s hard to take. What I wanted to write about today was last weekend’s stimulating, fun Tucson Festival of Books; finding my mother-of-the-groom dress in Berkeley a few weeks ago; or reading “Breaking Stalin’s Nose,” a terrific middle-grade chapter book by Eugene Yelchin.

Instead,  I’m concerned about the perversion of my beloved 14th Amendment. (I hoped my high school U.S. history students would always remember its meaning: Equal Protection under the Law. It was the most important amendment, I told them, and if in 30 years we ran into each other walking down the street, “Blurt it out.”)

My recurring concern hit me this morning, although it was one of my typical sunny days.

needed a pedicure. A friend was having a ladies’ birthday luncheon at the Westward Look. My chipped turquoise nails looked crappy.

Luckily, Melissa at Nails2GoGo could schedule an appointment for me at 9 a.m. Melissa is a smart, gritty single mother who works six days a week to support five kids. She used to work two jobs — one as a nail technician and one as a smartphone technician. Now that Melissa has only one job she smiles more and seems less tired whenever I show up for my monthly pedicure.

Melissa and I talk about real stuff, except when I check out for one of her fantastic foot massages. Her hands are strong, like her. I respect her stamina and cannot fathom how she works so hard.

Today Melissa tells me that her 18-year-old son received a police citation  for walking in the street instead of on the existing sidewalk. “It’s ironic that there is no sidewalk in our neighborhood,” she says.

On the day of the incident Melissa had just returned home from a long day of work. She saw the police in front of her house. When she got out of her car one of Tucson’s finest directed her to go inside, but she refused.

Her son will have to appear in court. I wish a local attorney would take this on-the-surface ludicrous case, argue it in front of the U.S. Supreme Court.

Oh, did I mention that Melissa’s son is black? No matter what your socioeconomic status, if you’re the President of the United States or the son of a New York Times columnist who’s a student at Yale, or an 18-year-old high school student wrestler — if you’re a black male in the so-called land of the free, Beware.

Dammit. This isn’t right.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Fight wimpiness, politics | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments