Letting go — and embracing the ’60s

It’s happening. I’m ready to embark on the last stage of life — no, not death — but the life of a person growing old. I’m ready to leave major organizing and hard work to younger folks. Going gray, which if you’ve been reading my blog, you know has been a big decision. It’s time to write about the past — and let it be.

I’ve had an interesting life, from the ’60s when I didn’t drop acid like most of my contemporaries, to picking up and driving cross-country to  start a new life in Tucson eight years ago. I arrived at dusk on Sept. 25, 2002, my daughter Brook’s 25th birthday.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now,” I said to myself, “but I did it.”

Last weekend, I heard three authors at the Tucson Festival of Books say they were able to give up the ’60s, although Mark Rudd lit up talking about changing the U.S. government’s policy toward the Vietnam war with our massive demonstrations. I agree. I was there.

My old friend Martha Dudman said she was apolitical now. And Mark noted that the best thing in his life has been becoming a grandfather. Not something we young revolutionaries considered all those years ago.

When I turn 65 in June I can look back or plunge forward.

I want to dance more. Maybe take tango lessons? I recently bought my first art, and it’s brought me a lot of joy. But maybe I want to paint too.

Martha was telling me how she memorizes favorite poems while walking miles around the village of Northeast Harbor, Maine. A few years back, I memorized “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. How I loved to recite that poem. But I’ve forgotten it.

Looking to the second half of my 60s and beyond, when we’re supposed to engage in brain exercise as well as physical exercise. So here goes, I like the idea of re-memorizing “Wild Geese” and other lovely poems.

I didn’t drop acid 40 years ago because I didn’t want to jeopardize any brain power I had. I’ve regretted not participating in that part of the ’60s, but who knows, maybe it was the right thing to do. Anyway, power to the 60s!

 

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Books Win!

I’ve always had my kids, my dear friends and Mount Desert Island family,  and more recently Dan and his family. Now I have my Tucson Festival of Books family.

Roaming around the University of Arizona campus, or seeing fellow author committee members in the audience while I was moderating “Right On! Far Out! Looking Back at the Sixties,” made me smile. We knew what it took to make the festival happen — monthly meetings, hundreds of e-mails, phone calls and more meetings.

Guest authors and my history/memoir/biography committee members have been sending e-mails about the fantastic energy at the festival. It felt so safe.

It’s estimated that 100,000 people attended the festival this year. It’s  the fourth largest book festival — after Los Angeles, Chicago and Miami — in the United States.

How did we do it in a city where the Tucson Unified School District is in court trying to uphold its right to teach ethnic studies, in a state that’s 49th in per capita per pupil spending, with a Republican-dominated legislature that keeps cutting spending for higher education?

The festival’s great success is really pretty simple. We worked together toward a common goal, our love of books. Kudos to Bill and Brenda Viner for having the idea and following through. Nothing seemed to stop them and their co-founders. And now, what I hear so often is that the festival is “so well organized.”

I’m pretty sure the gun show that took place at the Pima County Fairgrounds this weekend didn’t have as large a crowd as the book festival. (If they did I don’t want to know).

I recall seeing the first photo of Jared Loughner, the shooting rampage suspect of Jan. 8, as a volunteer at last year’s Tucson Festival of Books. What happened to him between then and now? That’s another story, but it’s obvious that he wasn’t getting the support or care that he needed in his life.

Can’t we work together to reach some agreement on gun control? It’s pretty difficult when the head honchos the National Rifle Association refuse to even talk with the President of the United States.

I keep thinking about Mark Rudd’s mantra: “Don’t mourn. Organize.” I won’t soon forget it.

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History/Memoir/Biography at the Tucson Festival of Books!

Our dedicated committee has lined up a stellar roster of authors for this literary weekend that makes Tucson shine. I’m so proud to be a part of it!

Thanks to committee members Holly Schaffer of UA Press, Corey Knox of UA Women’s Studies, Gwen Harvey author of “Esperanza Means Hope” and anthropologist, Kate Reeve and Bruce Dinges of the Arizona Historical Society, for making history together.

Here are just a few of the events we’ve planned:

Saturday, 10 a.m., Gallagher Theater, “Becoming America: Immigration Memoirs Across the Decades,” with Ishmael Beah, former child soldier in Sierra Leone and author of “A Long Way Gone”; former Arizona Gov. Raul Castro, author of “Adversity Is My Angel” and the state’s only Hispanic governer; and UC Berkeley history professor Paula Fass, author of “Inheriting the Holocaust: A Second Generation Memoir.”

“Be the Moon; Stories of War and Hope” with Ishmael Beah, at 1 p.m., Integrated Learning, 130.

Also at 1 p.m.”Parenting Memoirs: Maine to California,” with Martha Tod Dudman, author of “Augusta, Gone”; Paula Fass, author of many books on American childhood; and Peter Likins, former UA president and author of  “A New American Family. A Love Story,” Koffler, 216.

Simon Ortiz in Conversation with Leslie Marmon Silko, a Tucson literary treasure whose memoir “The Turquoise Ledge” was recently published, Chemistry, 111.

On Sunday at 11:30 a.m., following “Right On! Far Out! Looking Back at the ’60s” at 10 a.m. in the Gallagher Theater, delve into “Epic Stories: Journalists Write the American West.”

Tired yet, or overstimulated but had enough coffee? I’m going for the gelato.

At 2:30 p.m., head back to the Gallagher Theater for Pulitzer Prize Winner T.J. Stiles in conversation with Paul Hutton.

Gee, you could just camp out at the theater for two days, emerge for a little sunshine and gelato.

There’s lots more happening in history/memoir/biography.

But yeah, I really want to hear my good friend Thacher Hurd discuss writing and illustrating books for boys at 1 p.m. on Saturday in the Education Building, 349. “Bongo Fishing,” his first chapter book, is so fun! His talk is at the same time as the parenting panel that my other dear friend Martha Dudman will be on…and I can’t miss Mark Rudd’s “Writers as Social Activists” workshop on Sunday at 11:30 a.m. at Integrated Learning, 135.

More coffee, anyone?

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I am curious gray

Gray is okay. I’ll be 65 in June, a true senior citizen. What makes me lively, hip and cool isn’t my hair, is it?

I don’t want the chemicals seeping into my scalp. I want to save time and money. I’m told that I have “bright” gray hair. And I can always change my mind. But I’m curious.

Men look great with shimmery gray hair; they’re even sought after for their elegant appearance. Women look old, which is the established norm. When I first moved to Tucson eight years ago a very straightforward friend said, “You’ll never meet a man with that mop of gray hair. You look like a grandmother!”

Lately, I’ve thought it would be nice to be a grandmother someday. I’m of that age. If it doesn’t happen, I’ll still have plenty to do in my life (no pressure B and E).

Dan was the one who brought the salon.com story about going gray to my attention. He even encouraged me to consider it.

The other day I told a colleague about my determination to stop coloring my hair, mentioning that a few friends admitted they couldn’t return to gray because “they would look old.” My colleague replied that her 90-year-old mother-in-law still bleaches her hair blond “so she won’t look old, but she is f****ing old!”

Returning to the ’60s at the Tucson Festival of Books panel next Sunday and writing a story about the heyday of children’s bookselling 30 years ago are appropriate memory jolts. Both will take me to another time in my life. How about going gray, brightly?

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Books or guns?

Here’s your choice: Attend the Tucson Festival of Books on the UA campus the weekend of March 12-13, or the gun show at the Pima County Fairgrounds.

Remember the saying, guns or butter? Fight or eat. Anger or compassion. Dominance or cooperation. You get the picture.

But guns or books? No question for me, that’s obvious. Others don’t feel the same.

Guns: Be active, outdoors; aim at targets and watch them fall.

Books: Delve into stories, take a trip, use your imagination.

I’m sure there’s a more nuanced view of the differences between the two activities. Both take us out of ourselves. We all need an escape hatch once in awhile.

I’m trying to cross a line and understand why many Arizonans believe we need weapons on campus, so that the good guys can protect themselves.

How can this possibly make sense when there’s no gun safety class requirement in the state? Law enforcement officials are trained to use guns — what a concept! Now the strange powers that be in Phoenix really expect young guys (let’s face it that’s who will arm themselves) to responsibly tote guns?

Consider macho, or wanting to be cool, possibly drunk young men with guns wandering among college students, anytime day or night.

Ron Barber, one of the victims of the Jan. 8 shooting rampage in Tucson said in an interview, appearing in this week’s Tucson Weekly, “Nothing in my whole life even remotely prepared me for something like this. It was just horrific: And I know I’ll be dealing with it forever.”

So don’t go to the Tucson Festival of Books. Read books on campus. That’s what you’re there for, not to go looking for bad guys.

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My world of books, part II

In another lifetime, picture books dominated my life. When Brook and Ethan were little, reading aloud  to them shaped our days: special mom and daughter time, special mom and daughter and son time after Ethan’s nap/with popcorn, bedtime reading, reading at Oz Books whenever the kids were there with me.

“Born at sea in the teeth of a gale, the sailor was a dog. Scuppers was his name,” one of Ethan’s favorite lines from “Sailor Dog” by Margaret Wise Brown. “Happy winter rise and shine, I love the early morning time. Two bugs in a rug…” one of Brook’s favorite lines from “Happy Winter” by Karen Gundersheimer. (We always made happy winter fudge cake for her birthday).

And mine, “A good man a good life,” from “Island Boy” by Barbara Cooney, or almost any line from William Steig’s gems. Real philosophy and glorious illustrations. Laughter. Oh those books, watching my kids faces as I read them, getting to know the authors, some of whom became dear friends.

Barbara Cooney’s love of Maine history and her feistiness. The glorious palette of blues and purples in her Damariscotta garden. “I need the quiet to restore my creativity,” she would tell me. I didn’t know much about quiet in those days as a young mother and a bookstore owner, but she was always one of my role models.

Today the phone rang at work. One of my favorite children’s authors and an old friend was on the other end of the line, 3,000 miles away. We had the wrong email addresses for each other and hadn’t gotten together since the last time I was in New York. We’re going to have lunch on my next trip in April.

Picture books may have only 32 pages but they really never end.

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My world of books, part I

It’s been a long time since I attended my last American Booksellers Association convention (now called BookExpo America), which always felt like four or five days without sleep, partying, and non-stop book talk. I loved it.

Those were the days when wining and dining by publishers took place because I was on the board of the Association of Booksellers for Children. I remember jumping up and down at an intimate concert performed by Sweet Honey in the Rock, shaking Jimmy Carter’s hand telling him that history would vindicate him — not that his books were much good.

Any real expertise I’ve had was in children’s books. Since I closed Oz Books in 1997, I’ve been out of the loop. I ran into a local Young Adult children’s author the other day who told me I must read “Speak” by Laurie Halse Anderson. YA books aren’t as “nicey-nice” as they used to be, the author said.

Think I’ll write about that. More important, it seems like I’m coming full circle cultivating a renewed interest in YA books, promoting book events at the upcoming Tucson Festival of Books.

Only two more weeks to go! I’ll be moderating “Right On! Far Out! Looking Back at the ’60s” on Sunday, March 13 at 10 a.m. in the Gallagher Theater on the University of Arizona campus. The space seats 340 folks and C-SPAN Book TV will broadcast the panel. Cool huh?

Panel members include my pal Martha Tod Dudman, Joyce Maynard, and Mark Rudd. To be sure, an irreverent ’60s bunch.

Their that-was another-lifetime titles include Martha’s “Expecting to Fly: A Sixties Reckoning,” which has one of the greatest scenes ever. Her present self meets college-age Martha running across an Ohio campus  and asks her what it’s all about.

“Underground: My Life with SDS and the Weathermen” by Mark Rudd takes me back to my own cautious role in the takeover of the administration building at the University of Connecticut in 1968. Hell, I was shy and afraid but had to do something to voice my displeasure about the university supporting the Vietnam War through ROTC and funding from warmongering corporations.

Joyce Maynard’s “At Home in the World: A Memoir” picks up where her classic (to me) “Looking Back: A Chronicle of Growing Up Old in the Sixties” left off. Published when she was 19, the book grew out of a piece that appeared in the New York Times Magazine and spoke to me nearly 40 years ago.

I’m excited about these folks coming to Tucson for the book festival, now the fourth largest in the United States after only two years. I may check out a Kindle, Nook, iPad and other such reading devices at one of the festival booths.

The 1960s stand out as a central time in my life, and the printed pages of books illuminate it all.

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Let’s stand for the right (left) side of history

If I had been alive in Eastern Europe during World War II and the Holocaust I would be dead today, simply because I’m Jewish. I didn’t have relatives who were killed during that tragic time in history, but a shadow of paranoia still remains.

Yet I don’t understand Holocaust survivors who worry that another Holocaust is on its way. All Jews should have guns to defend themselves, I’ve heard. (I do live in Arizona where everyone has guns but Jews too?)

Five thousand years of anti-Semitism will not subside anytime soon is another lament I’ve heard. Other Holocaust survivors insist that times have changed, it’s the 21st century and we must learn to combat anti-Semitism and other injustices without violence.

Take Egypt’s recent youth uprising that ran a decades-entrenched dictator out of town. Ok, so Mubarak took off to his luxurious seaside villa and didn’t leave the country; maybe that was the deal he made. He said he wanted to die on Egyptian soil.

Now other primarily Muslim countries led by super-wealthy dictators are experiencing protests, such as Bahrain, Algeria and Libya This is an exciting time.

The first ouster of an Arab dictator, Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali on Jan. 14 in Tunisia, didn’t happen because of violence, suicide bombers or the like. When Mohamed Bouazazi set fire to himself he shamed the Tunisian government. The uprising has been called “The Dignity Revolution.”

What we witnessed in Egypt was another “Dignity Revolution.” Fear abounds about what will happen next, how the military will transfer power to the people (Right On!). Supporters of Israel worry that Arab nations will overthrow their governments and band together to destroy the Jewish state.

But this is a nationalist movement. The Egyptian people want justice and equality, opportunities to succeed that support a decent lifestyle. Let’s not make the same mistake we made in Vietnam, focusing on some scary ideological bent — then the label was “Communist” today it’s Islamist — but consider basic human desires. Here’s to more dignity revolutions!

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Why do things happen the way they do?

I was ready for bed. Washed my face, brushed my teeth. Better check nytimes.com one more time. Who knows what might have happened?

There it is. A story about a Brooklyn man who went on a stabbing rampage tonight. Frightens me because my 30-year-old son, Ethan, now lives in Brooklyn. The suspect’s name sounds Russian. I scan the article for names of the victims. Ethan speaks Russian, I think to myself, for no apparent reason.

Geez, I hope they catch this guy so he doesn’t hurt any other innocent people.(As sad as any crime is I’m a mother so I’m relieved when my grown-up kids appear to be safe).

I scan to the bottom of the story and there it is: Ethan Wilensky-Lanford contributed reporting.

Ethan is a stringer at the Times metro desk. He has been on and off for about six years, while he was getting his master’s degree in journalism at Columbia, and in Central Asia.

Not unusual but a giant coincidence!

And get this, Ethan just sent an email saying he’s heading back to “Little Russia” tomorrow to do a follow-up.

Oh my god, can you believe it?

Makes me think (so many things do). All of a sudden Egypt is without its dictator of the last 30 years. My day as a journalist/assistant editor of the Arizona Jewish Post landed me two stimulating and moving interviews. But that’s another story, actually two stories that I’ll start writing at work on Monday.

Love to Ethan. Down with crime. Up with freedom and joy to Egyptians and unhappy people in Brooklyn.

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To gray or not to gray?

A biggie. A lingering question. Sort of like what would I do if if  I won the lottery (I only bought a ticket once and since I didn’t win I never bought another)?

What’s the best way to spend my aging years? Tomorrow I’ll interview two local women who have started a blog on the subject. So far, I’m not overwhelmed about aging but maybe if I so obviously looked older…a friend who remembers my wild gray hair of a decade ago told me it was beautiful. My kids liked it better too.

Dan recently sent me a piece about graying, reminding me of the chemicals that seep into my scalp every month, let alone the money that seeps from my wallet to pay for it!

I erroneously thought the only way to go natural was the skunk look, with roots growing out over many months, which would mean wearing a self-conscious scarf. But no, there’s a reversing process that would take salon visits for about a year-and-a-half. After that, it’s save, save, save, no more monthly expensive goop threatening my long-term health!

Why haven’t I decided yet? There are questions that I can’t answer right away. Take the lottery. If I had a bunch of money would I spend it on art, exotic trips or more massages and pedicures? Certainly not on clothes.

I’d start a foundation, giving money to leftist causes. Start my own causes. Help education.

But when I think about it, all that money, when it comes right down to it, here’s the best advice I can give myself: Talk to people. Find out what’s going on. Embrace change, because I can’t stop it.

But still, what to do about my hair?

 

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