Ryan Gosling’s eyes or Heisenberg’s hat?

His face was hidden by dark glasses. He was a skinny little guy whose shape was more like Breaking Bad’s Jesse Pinkman than Walter White, aka Heisenberg the meth kingpin. His hat was the right shape but it was a brown tweed, not the flat black hat that transformed Walt into the baddest bad guy.  

I was tired after staying up two nights till midnight watching the last 10 episodes of  “Breaking Bad.” Never mind blue meth, the show itself was over-the-top addictive.

A pleasant morning walk to our Starbucks social gathering would straighten me out. Our usual coffee-talk pals were there. And the guy with the hat and dark glasses. He was about to roll a cigarette when we sat down and started chatting.

“Excuse me, are you two from Whitefish, Montana?” he asked. “Your voices sound familiar.”

Then he removed the dark glasses. “Holy shit, you look like Ryan Gosling,” I blurted. “It’s your eyes” (certainly wasn’t his stringy blond hair). 

“You’re the third person who told me that this week,” he replied. The guy — I later discovered his name was Mike — was an upscale hobo. Riding trains was his specialty; he was only in Tucson to make amends with his 19-year-old son. Mike had finally found the kid, who was angry at being found by his non-father father.

 Mike wanted to know what movies Ryan Gosling was in because he didn’t go very often.  “Maybe you don’t have the money to go to movies,” I said, stupidly.  I presumed he was poverty stricken like hobos of old during the Depression.

“Hey, don’t assume I have no money just because I don’t go to movies,” he said. “I could take all of you to the movies. You know how much I make [doing some kind of  construction work at UCLA a few months every year]? $106 an hour. You’re offending me.”

I apologized, noting an unforeseen stereotype popping up. Mike must have accepted my apology. He walked over to his Toyota truck and returned with a copper bracelet and gave it to me as a gift. “I made this,” he said. “I found this piece of copper at a railroad in Emeryville, California. I poked holes in it with a nail.”

“Good luck to you,” I said, having zilch idea why I was the recipient of this bracelet.

copper bracelet, looks like it's from outer space...

This is what happens at Starbucks. Every day a new adventure, usually not as weird as Mike/Ryan/Walt and the mystery of the copper bracelet.

I’ve heard that wearing copper jewelry is good for your health. Why me, why did I warrant a gift? Am I that entertaining? Or was there another reason?

Posted in Bopping Around Tucson, The Rest of the World | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

A Retirement Parfait

Our resort pool

Our own resort pool

At least I get to live in the sunshine. Even if I never retire living in Tucson is like being at a resort 24/7 (see the pool next door). No more teaching, which took up so much of my waking attention. Writing — and getting paid for it — has always been my dream. And here I am.

Am I partially retired? I have my evenings and weekends off to read, watch “Breaking Bad,” walk to the movies and indulge in frozen yogurt afterward.

photo-152

This is the life. But I wonder: Should I have saved more when I was younger to stash away for my old age? Should I sell my Maine house since I still have no winter renters this year?

A retired librarian friend works a few days a week at a florist shop to get out of the house and make a little spending money. Another friend who taught university for 43 years retired in May at 65 and is taking life as it comes. She spent the month of September exploring New York City neighborhoods instead of exploring the minds of college students. Now she’s accompanying an old friend who’s moving cross-country to Portland (the other one in Oregon). What will she do next? I’ll vicariously follow her adventures.

I have friends in Tucson who taught all over the world for 40 years. Now they’re back in the college town where they met. They walk three miles daily, have coffee, meet with friends. Oh, did I mention that they’re also playwrights? Seems like a nice retirement.

Others who worried about retiring and having enough to do have found that the days go by pleasantly enough. Some want to live closer to grandchildren. Some are still considering their options. Yep, we baby boomers have options — if not funds — for leaving the workforce. Remember that book about pursuing your dreams “and the money will follow?”

I’ve been lucky enough to have three satisfying careers: high school and college teaching, owning a children’s bookstore, and being a journalist.

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What are the layers in your retirement parfait? Any goopy sauce stopping your plans from sticking, nuts or berries mixing things up, something frothy on top that you’re wild about? I’d like to hear from you!

Posted in Baby Boomers, Journalism/Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Two from Ohio, our political heartland

Two from Ohio, one each from New Brunswick, Maine, Massachusetts, New York City, Chicago, St. Louis, Oklahoma, Los Angeles and a third-generation Tucsonan. Watermelon salad with feta and mint, pasta with veggies and fresh basil from a Trader Joe’s plant, freshly husked corn salad, local tamales (from the native Tucsonan), homemade brownies — with or without nuts, easy kale and chickpea salad (should have gotten the baby kale at Costco), yummy oatmeal-type cookies, outstanding roasted baby peppers with goat cheese app. Three new bottles of red wine appeared, I know not from whom.

All this at our first house party in five years of living in our hood. All but one couple — who come from way far east near Le buzz — have no need to come to our neighborhood Starbucks, where we stroll every morning, where friendships germinated over strong coffee.

An age span of 40 years among 11 guests: actors and playwrights, a pastor, two engineers plus a retired one, four mamas — one new and three older, a photographer and other artists across the board — from graphic designer to avant-garde jeweler to writer. Four of the artists were also teachers and peace corps volunteers from Peru to Nepal. Two of the mamas have the same birthday. Two women chose Chicago as their favorite city. The photographer discovered that years ago she had taken professional photos of two of the actors. The writer had watched one of the actors perform in Maine 25 years ago. There was even one NRA member!

Crossing boundaries of friendship and place of origin. What a wonderful evening.

And why — across 3,000 miles of these United States — can’t we all get along?

Posted in Baby Boomers, politics, The Rest of the World | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Landlords Beware!

houseHere’s my wonderful house in Southwest Harbor, Maine. I’ve rented it for the academic year and in August for the past 10 years. Fabulous renters have included a Jackson lab scientist from San Diego, a Hungarian College of the Atlantic student and her man, a couple who said my house “feels like a hug.” I once had to evict a woman who kept the shades drawn and made boat slipcovers all day — maybe she sold drugs, who knows.  Boozers and teachers, filmmakers and professors have lived there. The worst renters were a family with a young mom who’s still revered as the primary yoga teacher in town. I understand wanting your kids to be autonomous, free and creative, but kids carving their names in my dining room table, drawing all over the newly painted white walls, parents lying about having two dogs who dug up my  yard seemed a bit much.

Landlords beware! I’m now dealing with the “non-renters” who were supposed to move in Sept. 1.  Yesterday the non-renter told my SWH next-door neighbor they’re moving in next month. “Everything is fine,” the young, charming neuroscientist from an Ivy League university said as he picked up the extra bed he bought and stored in my garage over the summer.

“EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE,” I emailed him yesterday, unable to hold in my anger. The non-renter drove eight hours in July to see my house. We clicked. He gave me a security deposit and drove back home.

Yes, what a perfect arrangement! He was going to rent my house for multiple years. He asked for an 11-month lease. With his beautiful family he would spend school vacations at my beloved seaside home. He would be there for a week or two every month setting up his new island business.

Aug. 23, the date I was supposed to receive the signed lease, first and last months’ very reasonable rent, which even included the fastest wifi on the island, came and went. Whaaa? I called. I emailed. Multiple times. Okay, I’m a sucker for neuroscientists.

I’ve always trusted my perceptiveness, my ability to check out people. I’ve had good luck with renters. Now I have none. Worst of all, I’m questioning my ability to trust seemingly decent people. If the non-renter would have only responded to my emails and calls, told me by Sept. 1  that he wouldn’t be able to rent my house, I would have understood. No details asked.

Now I’ve missed real renters for the academic year from the Mount Desert Island schools, COA and Jackson Lab. I hope it will return, but for now I miss my sense of trust.

Posted in Mount Desert Island/Maine, Neuroscience needs me | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Art of Wal-mart

July 31, 2013: Bentonville, Arkansas, corporate home of Wal-mart. I don’t shop there. But  a friend told me not to miss the Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art, endowed by Wal-mart kingpin Sam Walton’s daughter Alice.  Since we were driving through Arkansas on our way back to Tucson from Maine, I figured, why not?

Rosie the Riveter by Norman Rockwell -- All American, right?

Rosie the Riveter by Norman Rockwell — All American, right?

Norman Rockwell, Thomas Eakins, Mary Cassatt, Andy Warhol, Andrew Wyeth, Mark Rothko, you name the artist — they were all there.

I was excited.

But it was Wal-mart. As soon as we entered the magnificent, modern glass building, Wal-mart greeters accosted us. After politely responding — once — I scurried into the first gallery but that didn’t stop the trademark interlopers.

Looking at art is a solitary activity for me. By the sixth gallery I had been welcomed too many times, plus museum guards were standing around talking loudly. It got to me.

“I really like to look at art quietly,” I told the greeter who walked over to me.

“I’m just trying to welcome you,” she said.

“I’ve been welcomed 20 times already,” I replied (Okay, I’m often prone to exaggeration).

“Humph,” she grumbled, looking at me like I just wasn’t right.

Sometimes we want to be left alone.

Sometimes we want to be left alone.

I still enjoyed the spectacular art but something was gnawing at me.

Was I giving in to Wal-mart, the retail giant that tries to make nice to consumers but won’t allow employees to unionize?

Now Wal-mart is coming to our hood in Tucson. I would prefer Trader Joe’s. But I’m in the minority of the population, although the upscale neighborhood association tried to stop the influx of shoppers searching day and night for bargains. Maybe this Wal-mart won’t sell liquor, and we still don’t know about guns and ammo.

Sometimes I struggle with my ’60s determination to right the world. “Choose your battles,” I’ve always heard. So I try to restrain myself.  Was I glad to see paintings that I returned to repeatedly in the Wal-mart world of art? You betcha.

In my notes about  Andrew Wyeth’s “Airborne,” I wrote, “Life is mysterious and illusory, like feathers in a breeze on Bennett Island, Maine.”

"Airborne" by Andrew Wyeth

“Airborne” by Andrew Wyeth

Posted in Baby Boomers, The Rest of the World | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

I found my people…

Callie and her mom, Sheila, posing at the Tulsa  airport

Callie and her mom, another Sheila, posing at the Tulsa airport

We were in Oklahoma. After behaving for 6,000 miles, from Tucson to Southwest Harbor, Maine, heading back west, the dependable Subaru konked out on the side of I-40 in Checotah. It was my second time  in the OK state but I had never met anyone like 18-year-old Callie.

“I’m an expert at packing the truck,” she told us — flashing her gorgeous smile — at her dad’s automotive repair place on the outskirts of town. Our deal with her dad was to retire the Subie for scrap metal, plus we’d get a ride to Tulsa with all our stuff and pick up a rental car at the airport.

“I found my people,” Callie blurted after directing the packing, hopping into the back seat of the truck beside me.

“What did you say?” I asked.

“Oh nothing,” she answered.  Maybe she was doing an anthropological experiment, getting to know people from outside of Oklahoma. We’ll never know.

Callie’s a keen observer. And she’s a planner. She has a spreadsheet with four variations of her future wedding, one for each season. “I’ll plan the whole wedding and let the guy pick the season,” she gushed. “I’ve been working on this since I was 10. You know, a cousin passed the chain over my arm. I’m going to have four boys.”

More than anything else, Callie’s a cheerleader. “Isn’t this the cutest little town?” she asked as we drove through Haskell, a small town that looked like so many others we had seen. “I just love it!”

“Will you be going to college?” I wanted to know, restraining myself from being too specific, like asking if she wanted to get out of Oklahoma, see other parts of the country. She started naming all of the community and state colleges, most of which I had never heard of. Callie wants to study psychology.

“I have family all over the place,” she volunteered.

Callie meant in Oklahoma. Her world. Don’t I have my own little world too? Don’t we all?

Her dad’s other business is selling guns (one of her “funnest” activities is shooting cardboard cutouts of people). She likes to shop in a Christian clothing store (what exactly are “Christian” clothes?). She prefers to live at home when she’s in college. She’s not annoyed that her parents have a tracker on her cell phone to always know her whereabouts.

I can’t imagine hanging out with anyone more different than me. But when we arrived at the airport Callie and I kept telling her mom where to turn, then determined we were both control freaks. We laughed. We bonded.

I wanted to take a photo of Callie and her mom in front of their truck, proudly displaying its Oklahoma license plate.

“Oh, I’m so glad you liked Oklahoma!” said Callie. I hugged her. I’ll never forget her.

Posted in Family Matters, The Rest of the World | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Summer at Somes Pond/Somesville, Maine

Somes Pond may look ordinary but it’s not.

Somes Pond

Somes Pond

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three couples walk to Somes Pond from their homes on Oak Hill Road at different times of day. Without air conditioning, it’s the way to cool off on hot and humid summer days. One woman in a bright blue swimsuit, with a towel flashing the same color wrapped around her, heads to the pond daily. She wades in and swims steadily for a long way, almost to the other side.

One friend and her partner have been known to swim pushing a cooler, laden with snacks and books, to the giant rock that’s behind the branches in the photo. My friend brought floating noodles to the pond for us to use this week. As we bobbed in the water for hours, we talked about time passing. We went to shore when our hands looked like prunes.

Another summer, this friend and I paddled around the pond in her rubber kayak, past the eagles’ nesting place to a  tiny cottage with a tiny dock. Cars driving along the water’s edge where we had come from looked so small.

One couple swims early in the morning or in the evening when the pond is all theirs.  I’m told that loons cry hauntingly during those quieter times.

During the winter quiet these three couples may share soup at a neighborhood potluck. Community matters on this island, more than in most places. Friends here have become family over the years. We know when something’s wrong.

The friend who brought the floating noodles drove south yesterday to see her sister and brother-in-law who has that damn C disease. (My father would spell it out years ago c-a-n-c-e-r  so we kids wouldn’t get what he was saying. But we knew).

I’m not sure if Somes Pond freezes in the winter. But I know that we will return to swim, laugh and grow older in its velvety water. Just as long as can.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Baby Boomers, Fight wimpiness, Mount Desert Island/Maine | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Among the rocks of Mount Desert Island

photo-136

One of my favorite Maine vacation activities is  reading for hours, lounging  on the rocks at Ship Harbor. Today I went searching for the perfect rocks to nuzzle against, snacks, water and an intriguing Maine novel in my backpack, hoping to recreate  idyllic memories.

I set out down Seawall Road on my bike, feeling confident that I’d find comfy reading rocks at Ship Harbor. Not so. Wherever I sat, there was too much sun glaring in my face. Rocks poking me every which way. I was restless.

But I kept trying.  Ah… this is good enough, I’d think at very rock. But no, I’d jump up again and move on to the next rocky cliff.  After about six attempts, I finally found the right place (kind of like the three bears story).

Satisfied, I took out “The Burgess Boys” by Elizabeth Strout, which a Tucson friend gave me before we left. “Leave it on your bookshelf in Maine. It belongs there,” she said.

Brook and Gian are happily married. Steph’s out of the hospital and recuperating; Ethan’s with her. Dan’s here with me. Now I feel like I’m on vacation.

We’ll return to Tucson in a few weeks. I’ll leave “The Burgess Boys” here. Every summer I carry rocks from Mount Desert Island back to Tucson. This year — if I can find the right one — it’ll be a rock set in a ring. I’ll wear it daily, reminding me of this foggy and shimmering summer.

Posted in Family Matters, Mount Desert Island/Maine, Tucson Festival of Books/good books | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Relaxing on the sun porch in rainy Maine

Hanging out on the sun porch with no sun in sight

Hanging out on the sun porch with no sun in sight. And it’s OK.

Is it better to be in rainy Maine, with the wind whistling through all the greenness, than in scorching Tucson? For once in my life it doesn’t matter. I’m happy. Brook and Gian, the wedding couple, will arrive in Southwest Harbor tonight. Ethan is flying across the Atlantic to meet up with Steph in NYC. They’ll arrive at our Seawall Road home on Sunday night. Dan hooked up the fastest wifi ever. We’re going out for dinner tonight with one of my dearest Mount Desert Island friends.

Rain or no rain, it’s time to celebrate family, peace and happiness. How long will this last? Who knows — I hope longer than the seemingly interminable rain. The saying about Maine weather is “just wait a minute and it’ll change.” Yeah, we want to get on our bikes, hike Beech Mountain, loll about on the rocks at Ship Harbor, and have a superlative clear day for the big event next week.

Meanwhile, memories abound like the rain. Teenage Brook said the hallway and the small wood ledge at the top of the stairs reminded her of Little Women. Brook, Ethan and I huddled together on the futon during cold winter evenings in front of the fire, drinking tea, eating mint chocolate chip ice cream (got some in the freezer now) while reading, watching Seinfeld, Northern Exposure or a movie. The “bathroom wars” took place every morning when my two teenagers got ready for high school, until I banged on the door to hurry one or the other out.

Poof. All of a sudden they’re both in their 30s.

Front door in our arts- and-crafts-design Southwest Harbor home. I'm only the third owner since it was built around 1930.

Front door in our arts-and-crafts design Southwest Harbor home. I’m only the third owner — the house was built around 1930.

The wind and rain will eventually stop, like everything else. A therapist once told me the only thing we can be sure of in life is change. It’s worked for me although now, at my age, I prefer occasional fun surprises to big changes.

And relaxing is always good.

Posted in Baby Boomers, Family Matters, Mount Desert Island/Maine | Tagged , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Chagrin Falls, Ohio, is way too precious.

A mixture of Bar Harbor and Northeast Harbor, Maine, the town of Chagrin Falls has way too many fancy houses with expertly manicured lawns. Tourists stroll the village center with its wild real falls and “fake” better behaved falls, which were created by damming the Chagrin River.

I’ve been taking lots of notes as we’ve driven cross-country this past week. But all my planned serious topics have been for naught. Everything changed as we blended in with the other tourists on a perfect  summer evening in Ohio (who knew?).

All because of ice cream, the best I’ve ever tasted.

Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams ruined me for any other ice cream. It's just as well.

Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams ruined me for any other ice cream. It’s just as well.

Fortunately, we shared three flavors: Queen of Cayenne, a spicy rich chocolate; black coffee; and dark chocolate. We also tasted whiskey pecan and double toasted coconut, which were scrumptious too. Now I’m sorry we didn’t sample the “gravels,” heavier than the sprinkles of my youth, or one of the “accoutrements” like smoked almonds.

Sammie, our server, aimed to please and how could she go wrong offering tastes of the richest, most perfect ice cream flavors ever? Guess I have nothing to complain about.

Sammie, our friendly server at Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams

Sammie, our friendly server, at Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams

Posted in Food/happy hours, Mount Desert Island/Maine, The Rest of the World | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments