They say that siblings experience the longest relationship in life. That’s true, but parents inhabit their children’s psyches, and their DNA, forever.
My dear son, Ethan, who turned 30 earlier this month, arrived in Tucson last night. He’s finishing a freelance Russian editing job this morning, and I’ve had the pleasure of replenishing his freshly squeezed grapefruit juice, catching as many glimpses of my handsome son as possible.
I’m a lucky mama. We’ve had our difficult moments, but my kids and I like each other a lot, enjoy each other’s company, have similar interests — such as writing and politics. Laughing together is the best.
Very soon Ethan and I will venture into the Tucson sunshine, probably not hiking today but sauntering over to the UA campus, see what’s happening with the college crowd. Should be entertaining for Ethan to see all the blond co-eds in their short shorts and UGG boots.
My parents are still with me, even though my father died in 1969 and my mother died in 1986. I like to think that my mother and I would have gotten along better now, that I wouldn’t have felt so pressured by her to do this or that — marry a Jewish man, become a teacher (which I finally did), cut my bangs and let my pretty ears show under all that hair (she actually did say that). I was often angry at her; I’ll bet I was angry with myself. I’m not sure why.
My father was a sweet man who often called me “sweetheart.” I was only 22 when he died, just getting started as my own person in the world.
I’d like to have a grandchild someday. It’s one of those life experiences that seems transcendental. Mostly, I want to see Brook and Ethan relaxed and happy in their own lives. They’re on their way. It sure took me a long time to stroll down that path, but they’re both way ahead of me, knowing who they are at a young age.
I’m eternally grateful that Brook and Ethan get along so well. I’m also grateful to have such amazing parent substitutes in my life, Dan’s folks, Jackie and Bill. They’re excellent role models as I get old(er), striving to be a menschette (female of mensch, or good person).
Even though I’m far from my east coast grown-up children. I clearly did the right thing by moving to Tucson eight years ago. Sunshine has a lot to do with my equilibrium, so let’s get out there Eth!